| Today marks a very special and
important day in my life. Lord, only
you could give me the gift of writing. And only you could have
known that the Alice you created would desperately need this
plus.
Exactly a year ago today a brainstorm hit me. I know it
was you
impressing upon me to release what I have felt since I started
therapy. Thank you, Lord, it is all there in black and white.
I
picked up my pen and, with a prayer, the birth of my psalms
materialized.
With my pen..
hurt was released
resentment was released
pain was released
insecurities were expressed
grief was expressed
fear was released
self-hate was realized
self-punishment was realized
anger was finally realized
child sexual abuse was realized
bulimia was confessed.
Expressions, confessions and revelations have been transferred
from deep within Alice onto paper. The real Alice has come
through
with such a variety of emotions that I have been constantly
amazed.
My sense of humor and wit has personalized my style of writing.
And you, Lord, have filled my mind with still another psalm.
Your
inspiration for writing my psalms has been every present.
My psalms have been critical to my healing. My psalms have
been
vital to my healing. All my highs and lows have been written
down
from my healing. My inner groanings are recorded for my growth..
My self-expectations have been inked so that I can set more
reasonable goals. Physically, professionals were made aware
of my
bulimia and I have broken the binge/purge cycle. Emotionally,
I have realized that il is all right to feel what I am feeling.
Intellectually, awareness of myself has improved greatly.
Socially, I
now relate more honestly to others. Spiritually, you have
been
invited into Alice to share my burdens and to fellowship
with me.
May psalms of praise every fill me with thanksgiving. Thank
you,
Lord, for the gift of wIiting. Thank you for the free expression
I
experience while writing my psalms. Thank you for understanding
all my confusion. Accept the thankfulness I feel right now.
By Alice Salewsky
27 Feb 95
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