TO HELP A GRIEVING FRIEND OR RELATIVE
family and friends ask how they can help - share this with them.)
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worry about what to say. Just being there shows you care. Don't feel
you have to have answers. Just be a good listener.
about the deceased - anything you know about them, such as what they
said or did. It helps the grieving persons to keep them closer.
often. Especially after the first couple months. Thelr energy level
may be too low for them to make the effort even though they may need
cards even weeks after the funeral. They are always helpful, and there
is a disappointment then they finally quit coming.
- Do visit
in the home after the funeral service is over, but stay just a short
while. Grievers need some privacy.
- If you
want to do something with or for the bereaved, give him or her an Option.
Some days they just can't cope with "something to do."
avoid the person when you see them for the first time after the funeral.
Go up to them first.
not to look startled when the bereaved mentions the deceased. Let him
- or her talk about the deceased loved one as much as they like.
try to get the mind of the griever off of the loved one. That is impossible
for a long time if the relationship was close. Remember, the hardest
thing for the bereaved is to see life going on.
make small talk. Talk about what is uppermost in the griever's mind.
be uneasy if you cry and the bereaved doesn't. A person can only cry
so much. The hurt is still there.
talk about what the deceased might have been spared by death. Those
thoughts bring no comfort.
remind the person of what they have left, such as other children. At
the time, all the bereaved can think of is what he or she has lost and
the feeling that there is no future. The deeply grieved does not want
to think about tomorrow.
you could do to be helpful:
go to tne library,
prepare hot meal,
- If they
have children, invite them to spend time with your children. If the
children have lost their father, it would be wonderful if another man
would spend some time with them also. He could include them occasionally
when he does something with his own kids.
assume the deeply bereaved is "over it" in just a few weeks
or even months because they are going on with routine. Grief takes much
longer and people can pretend to be doing much better than they really
are doing. Share your love, your time and most importantly, your prayers.
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