This is a one of a kind place. There is nothing like it even in real life. Its such a crucial part of
adjusting to life without that special person. I'm talking make it or break it issues, issues that even
the most dependable people in my life don't get ie my grief pastor.
-- Patricia Collins, grief-widowed5, 2 July 2012
Once again thank you so much for your continued dedication to this most important of times in anyone's lives.
I thank God that there are people like you around and that I was led to your site.
-- Sharon Clark, griefwidowed-movingon, 28 April 2012
My donations are not enough, in my eyes, for the support and compassion I have received from Griefnet and
the kindness of sll of you and Cendra. I need to return the favor and support Griefnet for standing by me
when I truly wanted to end my own lif,e and found reason here to feel OK with grief and live. I was in a
serious funk and am doing better. No one who hasn't lost a child to suicide can understand my deepest
inner pain. I was truly blessed to find Griefnet three months after my beautiful son shot himself and
left me crippled mentally and physically. I have met the most compassionate moms and dads here who
understand my horrendous pain from losing a child. I now have what I call an extended family because of
Griefnet: a safe place to vent, cry and find compassion. It is four years and I still rely on Griefnet to
help me when I have a meltdown and crash and burn when I miss my son. I will never be over losing my son
and I thank God for Griefnet. Cendra and my family here is my salvation. Thank you Griefnet from the bottom
of my heart.
-- Candy Proud Mom of JJ (1/22/74-5/19/05), March 15, 2011
Thank you, Cendra, for creating this safe place for us to gather, share and know we walk in tandem with
others who truly know and understand our pain. It is an irony.....I wish no one knew what I am experiencing,
but comforted to know that I am, sadly, not alone in this journey. To all who are here I wish you some
peace and comfort in this new year.
-- Suzanne - Nikki's mom, January 2, 2011
Finding the griefnet group was the best experience
I could have in the midst of the worst time I
had ever had in my life. The support and caring
that I found from the very beginning was unbelievable.
If someone had told me that you could find such
compassion from people that you had never met,
and yet develop such close friendships, I wouldn't
have thought it was possible. These bonds of friendship
helped me to heal in so many ways. Thank you for
all you do with the group and also for sharing
so much of yourself and your experiences. I have
passed the website on to many people who had a
loved one or friend who was dealing with the loss
of someone they loved.
-- Nita Boyd (Member, grief-widowed2, October
Griefnet worked for
me and works for others in the fact by reading
and writing to each other we learn we are not
alone in this world with these over whelming feelings
of Grief. That the uncontrollable anger and tears
and sometimes fighting in families is something
that happens to many. Knowing we can sit down
and pour our hearts out in an email form and have
it read by someone who understands the place we
are in and not get a response like get
over it or you have
to move on brings comfort to many.
Many in our group belong to grief groups or go
to counselors in their home area too, talking
about our feelings helps us heal. I hope I have
helped explain a little bit why this site is so
important to me and to the others who are here.
-- Brenda (Member of adult-parents;
now GriefNet Group Monitor)
I don’t post much on any list. But today
is the 4 year anniversary of Paul’s death......and
I miss him. He was my husband for 20 years. I
still can’t sleep in a bed. The couch has
such a nice cushy back to it, that reminds me
or sharing a bed with Paul for all those years.
This year I am finally cleaning each room in the
house and I know that I will move back into the
Rose room when I get to it. But for now the couch
is very comfortable......and I can read again.
When Paul died I was almost catatonic. I couldn’t
read for pleasure. It had been my main stress
reliever and I couldn’t follow the words
on a page. Today I read a book or 2 a week.....and
laugh at a silly turn of phrase.....and enjoy
spending time in someone else’s view of
Each year has been easier....or is that more “tolerable”.
It is not that the pain goes away. It is more
that I have come to terms with it. (On his birthday
this year, I worked the whole day and felt good
all day. ) Today, I did go into the office, but
I wasn’t as busy as I usually am and I had
to write today’s date over and over in letters.
It finally hit me.....not a ton of bricks....just
tears trailing down my cheeks.....and I couldn’t
stop them. There were no great shoulder shuttering
whoops......just leaky eyes. So I went to my boss
with my leave slip in my hand and she read the “why” and
said....”oh....get out of here”.
I know that I will be just fine when midnight
comes and it is an entirely different day (that
has been the pattern), but for a little while
longer, I am being gentle with myself. The cat
sits on my lap and purrs about the joy of my company
in his world. Such simple pleasures.....to have
an ear scratched.
So I come here to state, I still love the guy
and my life is changed forever. I enjoy going
out to dinner and events with close friends. I
don’t like being alone. I survived and will
continue to survive. I am a loving grandmother
and active in community activities. I love to
read. I walk the dog and enjoy the fall colors.......and
tomorrow, I will laugh again.
Blessing upon us, one and all, for we have tread
the path out of the darkness and into the sunshine
together. Thanks for listening.
Love, Life and Laughter ....
Peg, griefwidowed-movingon 10/03
It really is incredible how much of a lifeline
these groups are. I remember, after I lost my
husband, the thing I liked the most about these
groups were, you could write to others in the
same predicament yet not be too involved at the
same time. I know I wanted to be isolated from
everyone for a while. These groups give you the
freedom to express what you are feeling without
anyone passing judgment on it. Is it reality?
I don't know and frankly, I don't care. Others
we are in contact with personally tend to think
it's their duty to let you know they are worried,
tell you if you grieving too long, and, oh yes,
mustn't forget this one, "it's time to move
on." You don't get that from the people here.
We have learned each one of us will do any moving
that needs to be done in our own good time. If
we are allowed to go through our paces, we will
find our way out.
-- Darlene, grief-widowed 2/03
I don't think there has ever been a place where
people can go and share their feelings like griefnet
before. It's so sad how so many "like me" went
through life thinking that I had something wrong
with me because of the pain, anger and all the
things we share here because nobody talked about
it. I often say how I wish I had griefnet when
I lost my Dad back in 91 for even my family didn't
understand. Let's face it, all we hear is "get
over it" or "you have to move on" and
so many keep their feelings and pain hidden because
it's not acceptable to grieve openly because nobody
does it. God Bless the founders of this group
who allow us all to know we are normal and to
share our feelings and help each other heal.
-- Brenda, adult-parents 4/02
and the Internet, an article written about
a grief widowed group, the support they give
each other, and the "Spring Wind Ding," where
they finally got to meet each other in person.
-- Tom Smith, grief widowed
I would like to take this opportunity to say
Thank You personally to you I still have a long
way to go on this Journey of Grief,but I realize
how far I have come to date. When I stumbled onto
griefnet quite by chance (or Divine intervention)
I was not able to function very much at all. I
was isolated and alone with my unbearable sadness
and pain.Until I discovered the others here, I
thought I was alone in what I was experiencing.
Thank you for making griefnet possible and all
the hard work you and all the others do. Griefnet
and the Support,understanding and Love I find
there has helped me to return to everyday life.
I was paralized by depression,panic and anxiety
attacks before I found everyone here. I want you
to know how much your words mean to me when you
post on the difficult Holidays. Your words are
to my soul like cool rainwater is to the parched
desert in the summer sun. Your words of encouragement
and understanding have helped me cope and been
a great comfort. I have found the best friends
I have ever had here. Again, please accept my
heartfelt Thank you for enabling me to learn how
to live again.
-- Joe's Mom, Debbie
Hi, My name is Lauren. I'm 38 years old and I
lost my mom a year and a half ago. I joined the
griefnet adult-parents back in December 1998 and
I'm still in it. I found it a very safe place
to go to, where I don't have to hide my feelings
and emotions. I've become close to many of the
group members, and all I have to say if you have
lost a parent, child, or any one you loved this
is the place to go. Thank you Griefnet and Cendra.
You've been a life saver.
-- Love and Peace. Lauren
I want to thank you and Steve and everyone for
all your help. Nov. 20 will be the third anniversary
of my only child's death (Shannon, age 19). When
she died (after a long illness) I never thought
I would be able to go on, let alone be where I
am today. God bless you.
Thanks. This list is so uplifting. It makes you
stop and think. Words of wisdom from those who
have given thought to their problems.
-- Mary, grief-widowed
I loss my wife Alice to Lupus on January 20,
1998. I want to tell the world that my loss was
eased as a consequence of the tremendous support
that I received from grief net members. Members
helped me, prior to and following her death.
-- Ted, grief-widowed
"'Valuable' is an understatement. I think this
service is so remarkable. I could not have imagined
some years ago that a community of strangers would
turn out to be so useful to me in a time of terrible
hurt and confusion. Again, thank you for helping
-- Mark, of grief-widowed
"I don't know what I would do without this group.
I even like it better then my regular support
"I've only been on this list for 9 months or
so, and it's been a big help to me. Reading about
others' losses and how we deal with them, the
encouragement I've found here, etc., has helped
me during the worst time of my life."
-- Peggy (mother of Joey, 2/20/89
"Thank you Cendra. Your hard work is much appreciated
by everyone on this list. You and the rest of
the Grief Net staff have truely been a Godsend
to me! Lots of love,"
-- Danielle on grief-spirits
"The courage in this group is astounding. You
know I wrote about a near death experience and
said that the only word I came back with was communion
and I didn't know what that meant. I think this
is it. A communion of people helping other people."
-- Joan, a member of grief-spirits
"You are right, what we share is communion, with
each other. We help each other get through the
dark days, and share the light days. love,"
-- Jeanne R., Wife of Phil,
"Hi, I'm ___ from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and
am a subscriber to griefparents-accidents and
only child (unfortunately). Thanks for Griefnet,
it's my lifeline."
"I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate
your efforts and hard work. Losing a child is
a painful and very devastating event, but people
like you and your organization bring a lot of
comfort. Thank you."
To kill oneself or not to kill oneself ?-that is the question for
this suicide survivor. Frankly-one of the reasons I participate in
griefnet is to remind myself that the pain of a survivor seems at
times to be more than that of the person who killed themselves in
the first place. When a person kills themselves they are thinking
only of their pain and not the extreme pain of those left behind.
No matter how black my world may seem at times- I have to remember
that it is even darker for a suicide survivor. I have started my own
list of reasons to kill myself-and even with a whole list of reasons-I
couldn't do it-because my pain would infect all those innocents left
behind-where it would fester and grow to unimaginable intensity-only
those on this site know just how intense that pain can get . Do I
want my friends and family to have reason to join this site-the answer
is NO. So I keep coming back to refresh my own pain,if you will,and
remember that suicide is not the answer. It is also evident that drugs
and alcohol are often a factor in someone making the final, impulsive
decision. So I am warned to stay away from drugs and alcohol-especially
on the darkest of days when it wouldn't take much to push one over
the edge.Seems in those cases its the drug making the decision. In
some way- part of my anger at my brother is the simple fact that he
killed himself FIRST so now I can't-because now I know what it is
like for those still living. I don't think he meant to leave a legacy
of such intense pain behind-he just wanted out of his own mental anguish.I
must say to myself all those things I would have said to him-had I
known he was that desperate. Even though I have somewhat healed from
my own experience, I keep coming back to remember where I came from-
a unique, unholy hell here on earth. No matter how much I hurt, I
cannot send anyone else there . Because I am a survivor-suicide is
no longer an option for me.
-- Carol Bozeman